One day, I realized he might not exist. My soulmate, I mean.
I realized there might not be someone walking around this earth just waiting to meet me. Someone with a private world just as intricate as mine that, one day, I would get to share and be a part of and know.
And I realized I was keeping a vacant spot in my heart for this person who might not exist. That I wasn’t allowing myself to be whole because how could I be whole with my other half missing?
It was an excuse, of course. A simple view of life that would exempt me from having to put in the effort of filling myself up with the love I was waiting for someone else to supply.
The reality is this: Life is a churning, chaotic thing with no guarantees, and in the throws of the tumbling you might run into people to hold on to for a while. Sometimes for a night, sometimes for life.
And holding on to someone is a worthy thing. A wonderful thing. Something to look forward to and appreciate and embrace with your whole heart.
But the love you get from holding on to someone will never be as reliable as the love you can give yourself. Right here. Right now.
So here’s my advice. Be open to love, but don’t be empty for it.
Ten years ago, Britney Spears said she was working on an album called Original Doll , but her label denied its existence.
This article is so amazing. ‘Original Doll’ could’ve changed so much in pop history but Britney was destined to be a robot for her record label. It’s just sad to know that she never got the chance to be the artist she really wanted to be…
“I’m not myself," she offered, guiltily. She softened around Tik Tok, and when she did she was, for those rare moments, girlish.
“You can never say that. You’re just a piece of yourself right now that you don’t like.”—Tiger Lily - Jodi Lynn Anderson
“I watched the two of them. I liked the way they stood together. They both kept one ear on each other, and one on the forest around them. And yet, there was something almost peaceful about them standing there. Maybe the way he seemed to vibrate made her stillness seem less glaring, and Peter seemed calmer.”—Tiger Lily
Your sadness, your fear, your loneliness, even your despair is so fragile, friend. It can break open at any moment. A single note in a piece of music can do it. A kind glance from a stranger. The feeling of the spring breeze on your face. A reflection of a bird in flight. In any moment, your sorrow can shatter into nothingness; it has no more reality than that, no more substance than a shadow. The more you focus on your sorrows and fears, the more you talk about them, analyse them, identify with them, or resist them, the more ‘real’ they seem, the more solid and independent of you they appear to be, the more power they seem to have. In searching for a solution to your problems, you create the problem of ‘having problems’ at all.
Be available for the breaking-open of your pain, friend. Do not assume it is here for any longer than a moment. Allow the arrival and passing of all that troubles you. All this shall pass, remember, all this shall pass.
Lately I’ve been reading one amazing book after the other which doesn’t really happen so often - usually I read three books that are okay and just find an amazing book once in a while. But I think the Book Gods are blessing me currently.
SO I wanted to share what I was reading because I know lots of people on tumblr love reading as well :) And because I simply love talking about books that I enjoyed!
For some reason, I’ve been picking up adaptations all the time. The last few books I read were: The Lunar Chronicles, Of Metal and Wishes and Tiger Lily.
Do you ever just randomly remember something you said during the day that was really rude/tactless/embarrassing, etc. and just want to lock yourself up and avoid human contact for the rest of eternity?